Clear Eyes, Full Hearts and Sometimes Hot Heads

You will read it in many places when researching about living on a sailboat or cruising with your partner that doing this can be a big stress test on your relationship. Some couples dock somewhere forever, put their boat up for sale and fly back home because they quickly realize that the stress is just too much or that this type of lifestyle isn't what they signed up for. And they are right, it (it meaning all aspects of this lifestyle) is too much at times and just like life on land, it is guaranteed that you will go through experiences that you have not signed up for. However, situations have a tendency to go from 0 to 100 in a matter of minutes, even seconds, more frequently than they typically do on land. And things get crazy very, very quickly even if you are both mentally and physically prepared as well as ready for all sorts of situations to occur. I'm talking about both problems on the boat, the weather as well as tempers; all of these can escalate in a moments notice.

Unfortunately, we are not in any way immune to these types of situations. Over the years we have gotten into arguments over something as small as misplacing something or as large as extreme weather in the middle of the lake. Both parties can get frustrated and a bit emotional. We are kind of living in a pressure cooker of sorts, very small living arrangements, with each other 24/7 and being surrounded by things that can not only harm you badly but even a little mistake can be life threatening. I'm not trying to be dramatic, I'm well aware that most things we do on land can be life threatening as well but you have the security to get help and safe surroundings rather quickly if and when you may need it. This is different when surrounded by water. There may not be another boat within miles of your location and it may take help a couple of hours to get to you depending where in the water you are. If a storm hits while out on the water, you have to wait it out until you can get to safe harbor because sometimes waiting out the weather is safer than trying to get into a harbor (I know it sounds crazy but there are less things to hit while in open waters). Add a bad wind and wave day into the mix and things in the pressure cooker may or may not go up a notch. Now add a bad wind and waves for a week to this pressure cooker and you can only imagine that things can get a bit intense. 

Our first day we were on Lake Huron wasn't that bad, granted we were ending our 39.2 nautical mile trip and technically we were only on Huron for the last 30 minutes before docking but whatever! Plus we were on our cross something off our bucket list high from going under the Mac Bridge. This high made us blind to the current high winds and choppy waters of the area in the Great Lakes where Lake Huron narrows and meets Lake Michigan, also known as The Straits. Because we were celebrating our success and trying to hail that evening's port, Straits State Harbor (try saying that three times in a row without messing up) to notice the water conditions. Unfortunately, this first day was one of the best cruising days we had this particular lake. Bottom line is that we have not been able to figure Lake Huron's weather pattern's out just yet and for some reason, we have been getting daily beatings from her. This leads to a very stressful and uncomfortable ride.

Every evening when we get into port, we check the marine report (wind, waves and weather) for the area we will be sailing. This is done for us to make an initial decision if we will head out the following day or not. We do this once again before we leave in morning. Each day had almost the exact same report word for word; winds 5-10 knots in the morning and increasing to 10-15 by late afternoon with waves less than 2 feet and the chance of thunderstorms at any moment. And every day we would make the decision to leave because we seemed to have great sailing conditions only to get out on the lake and find the wind whipping at 20-25 sustained with gusts up to 30 and waves 3-4 feet with some 5-6 footers. Everyday, it was the same weather report (and in the harbors everything was very calm) but the minute we would pass the breakwall, or turn the corner to get out on the lake, everything became a bit intense. It was a bit like Groundhog Day. We began to think that this lake had it out for us. We also thought the marine reports were just being copied and pasted every day. It wasn't until yesterday that we heard the Coast Guard on the VHF stating the conditions around the lakes were "very unpredictable" currently and to be cautious when out on water. We would take daily beatings from both the winds and waves and sometimes rain , thankfully the rains seemed to let us be for the most part, but these beatings started to take a toll on us and our mental status. 

At first we were thinking 'glass half full' and were excited to better our skill. And after getting into port the first couple of nights we would sit back and think, we are getting better in how we handle these situations! We were, in the beginning, open and willing to take the push Lake Huron was giving us to better our skills and get more comfortable in these type of wind and waves in a 'safer' environment. Then as the days went on we realized that we weren't getting any relief and not enjoying it anymore. We would be exhausted when coming into port and we weren't motivated to explore any of the towns like we usually do, and would fall asleep in our dinner. Stressed sailing and sleeping became our life. 

It was about the fourth day when the wind was sustained at 25 knots with big waves, a normal thing for us to sail in for this lake, not bad we thought. We had about 3 miles left to finish crossing Saginaw Bay to get into Port Austin (the tip of the thumb in MI, for all you Michiganders) for the night, when the wind decided to not only pick up right then and become 30+ knots sustained but also shift and come at us right on the nose of the boat. It was coming at us right from the place we needed to go. UGH! Lake Huron was making us work for it and it was not a good way to end an already stressful sail. 

We tried and tried to find a good angle where we would be able to make progress toward the marina but also keep up speed but we kept being hit by wave after wave slowing down our slow speed to practically nothing. It was a between us and Mother Nature. She would not let us in the harbor without a fight and she was not letting up. (I failed to mention that we were already being short and snapping at each other for the past day or so and we really just needed a little silver lining, a good burger and a couple beers, which we planned to reward ourselves with as soon as we docked in Port Austin.) After realizing we were not making any progress toward our destination and being oh so close to the end of another mentally and physically stressful day (and my burger) I broke down. I couldn't take it anymore. I was at my wits end. Knowing that I can't totally break down and crawl into a hole and hide until things got better, I let out my frustrations by letting Mother Nature know exactly what I thought of her. It ended up being about a 30 second rant. Did she listen, no. Did it solve anything, no. But it did allow me to get out my frustrations so I could go quickly back to the task at hand and work successfully in our little team.

This life is not like the movies or pictures of sailing. Cruisers who do this for years say it's perfect about 10 percent of the time and they are right. Either something, or a couple of things are broken and need fixing, there is no wind, it's too hot, it's too cold, you can't escape the sun/wind/rain/elements (we only have a dodger so our cabin is open), you are sea sick, or any number of things that go wrong that I haven't thought of at this moment. Not only can things go wrong, but as I said before, you are surrounded by water and both water and Mother Nature are unforgiving (as many home owners know). So, we too have our breaking point. Which we both have reached. But just like any other job, tomorrow is a new day, a new sail and hopefully a less stressful one. And if not, well we will be SO glad to get off this lake in a couple of days!